I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
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