you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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