i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize