I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
i came on her dog
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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