if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
