The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
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