Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I love having hate sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize