My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
