How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Randomize