I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
