This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
She's the barista slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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