Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
