Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
