i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
