Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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