Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize