I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
