i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize