I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize