i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
