Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Randomize
