Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(734): View more from Michigan

I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(734): I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit. http://tfl.nu/jg4n

Replies (17) Good night (4733) Bad night (606)
Favorite
(270): View more from Kentucky

It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(270): It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night http://tfl.nu/y9wt

Replies (19) Good night (3958) Bad night (1234)
Favorite
(760): View more from California

Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(760): Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!? http://tfl.nu/iolx

Replies (39) Good night (11525) Bad night (1536)
Favorite
(307): View more from Wyoming

you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(307): you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood http://tfl.nu/ts9e

Replies (19) Good night (6432) Bad night (939)
Favorite
(608): View more from Wisconsin

Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(608): Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add http://tfl.nu/yo24

Replies (6) Good night (3056) Bad night (798)
Favorite
(732): View more from New Jersey

That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(732): That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go. http://tfl.nu/exr6

Replies (5) Good night (1504) Bad night (465)
Favorite
(651): View more from Minnesota

Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(651): Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea http://tfl.nu/mdyc

Replies (14) Good night (834) Bad night (1152)
Favorite
(423): View more from Tennessee

Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(423): Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina. http://tfl.nu/4jzk

Replies (6) Good night (1673) Bad night (427)
Favorite
(720): View more from Colorado

I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(720): I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation. http://tfl.nu/ssju

Replies (5) Good night (995) Bad night (331)
Favorite
(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me

(1-724): View more from Pennsylvania

He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(724): Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me (1-724): He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit. http://tfl.nu/ml5w

Replies (5) Good night (1423) Bad night (461)
Favorite
(262): View more from Wisconsin

I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(262): I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower http://tfl.nu/cieg

Replies (7) Good night (875) Bad night (327)
Favorite
(907): View more from Alaska

Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(907): Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea http://tfl.nu/9w6p

Replies (6) Good night (271) Bad night (549)
Favorite
(320): View more from Minnesota

how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(320): how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back? http://tfl.nu/ycg3

Replies (13) Good night (953) Bad night (275)
Favorite
(+44): View more from United Kingdom

The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(+44): The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven http://tfl.nu/nqqz

Replies (11) Good night (863) Bad night (473)
Favorite
(724): View more from Pennsylvania

We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(724): We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians http://tfl.nu/50hn

Replies (8) Good night (629) Bad night (327)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: