I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
your room smells of hookers.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.