Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.

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(909): View more from California

It's Friday. Sex?

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(503): View more from Oregon

what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.

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(917): View more from New York City

OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(250): View more from British Columbia

I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.

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(904): View more from Florida

And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool

(386): View more from Florida

It could be our claim to fame

(904): View more from Florida

Done. I'll pack a cooler.

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.

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(319): View more from Iowa

I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.

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