i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
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Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know