Texts From Last Night

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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  oh good, I think they're gone

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  the painters?

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  my herpes

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  (860): oh good, I think they're gone (215): the painters? (860): my herpes http://tfl.nu/ob9r
  Replies (7) Good night (912) Bad night (1567)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.

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  (615): Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree. http://tfl.nu/pq0u
  Replies (20) Good night (3595) Bad night (944)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from England

  You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.

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  (+44): You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway. http://tfl.nu/z6cq
  Replies (34) Good night (6143) Bad night (1537)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore

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  (732): I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore http://tfl.nu/xlhh
  Replies (65) Good night (2256) Bad night (5155)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me

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  (419): i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me http://tfl.nu/hyzr
  Replies (18) Good night (6482) Bad night (1448)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?

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  (516): do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ? http://tfl.nu/or6i
  Replies (6) Good night (2839) Bad night (1051)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you

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  (248): i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you http://tfl.nu/cx5a
  Replies (11) Good night (6212) Bad night (1136)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me

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  (203): Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me http://tfl.nu/81ac
  Replies (12) Good night (4677) Bad night (1662)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.

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  (715): haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate. http://tfl.nu/9gey
  Replies (1) Good night (1761) Bad night (829)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"

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  (305): She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered" http://tfl.nu/7vwf
  Replies (3) Good night (2110) Bad night (582)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it

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  (630): I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it http://tfl.nu/s57c
  Replies (5) Good night (684) Bad night (1757)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?

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  (774): I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex (603): College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh? http://tfl.nu/q4kf
  Replies (1) Good night (930) Bad night (370)
• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.

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  (224): hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died (774): Thanks for the flashbacks you prick. http://tfl.nu/r1xq
  Replies (2) Good night (796) Bad night (449)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club

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  (402): Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club http://tfl.nu/zpvq
  Replies (1) Good night (357) Bad night (487)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.

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  (757): If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible. http://tfl.nu/lbns
  Replies (2) Good night (437) Bad night (111)

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