She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
