I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
