Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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