3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
