she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Randomize
