The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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