its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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