that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
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