I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
dude. I can hear the air.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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