Say something about gay babies.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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