and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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