we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
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Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
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there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
dude. I can hear the air.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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