At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
