Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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