so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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