Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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