You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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