You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
