we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
