I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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