Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Randomize
