Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
They took my balls.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
