I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
