She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
