I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
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I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
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Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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