I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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