Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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