How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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