She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
