hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize