Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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