3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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