you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
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No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
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My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
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