It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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