Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
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