Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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