Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
